Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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