I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
