I didn't shave. On purpose
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
please don't ironically join a cult
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