Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
