so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
