dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
