i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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