I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
