I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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