I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
