Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize