I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
