I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
