the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Every concussion has its silver lining
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I did not marry a roomba.
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