I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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