I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize