you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
