I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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