Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
