Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize