Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
