If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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