I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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