last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
