We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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