I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
