She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
