you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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