Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
