Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
