I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
