i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
