he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
