Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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