she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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