Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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