you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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