Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
