dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
