My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
