She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
