But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
