Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
