I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
