is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just cropdusted the office
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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