Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
