I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
