Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize