im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
