So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
