I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
