so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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