did you get engaged???
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dude. I can hear the air.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
