If i come over, it means nothing
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
