i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
