Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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