thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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