Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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