Im at strip club and am horny
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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