There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
