he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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