I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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