just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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