Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize