we're blogging at a bar
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
