Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
