she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
