UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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